The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights. Habakkuk 3:19 (NIV)
Glen and I have been married twenty-five years, but it was not until this summer that he realized that I am afraid of heights. Perhaps, he did not know because when I was young, I did not have this fear. I used to fly all the time even in a small plane that my dad’s company owned and I never had a problem. It seems to have developed after I became a mom. Since then, I have been afraid to look down from high places, great and small. Mountaintops, bridges, roofs, airplanes, even ladders frighten me. So, when we went to Wyoming and Glen wanted to go to the top of a mountain on a cable car, I tried to be brave and agreed to go. I started getting nervous as we waited for the tram to come down the mountain. Once on board, I grabbed the handrail and endured the swaying as other people joined us. As the car took off, it jerked forward. I gasped out loud, and grabbed Glen’s hand. He was surprised at my reaction and laughed. As we passed each tower that held up the cables that the car rode on, the tram would shudder and shake some more. I refused to look down but by the time, we got to the top, I was unnerved. I stepped out of the tramcar and by shuffling my feet together managed to move a short distance, sat down on a rock and refused to get back up until the next tram came to take me back down. Glen kept urging me to explore the top of the mountain with him, there were hiking trails and a coffee shop where we could purchase refreshments. I ignored his requests and stayed put. He kept saying, the ground is as solid here as it was down below, you aren’t going to fall. But, even though the top of the mountain was acres across, it felt to me like one step and I would be off the edge. Another couple walked up and asked Glen to take their picture for them. He did and they offered to take ours. He had to help me to my feet and hold me up for the photograph. I immediately sat back down. He kept saying to everyone who came near us, “My wife is afraid of heights,” with such wonder in his voice. Finally the next car came and he helped me into the tram and we made it back to the bottom. I can usually avoid high places. Here is flat Florida, the highest I have to go is a ladder to change the fly sprayers in the barn. But, there are other things I am afraid of as well. I have to remember that when I am afraid, God will make me strong if I rely on Him. I will try to remember that the next time I am on the top of a mountain, too. If there is a next time.