I lift up my eyes to you, to you whose throne is in heaven. As the eyes of slaves look to the hand of their master, as the eyes of a maid look to the hand of her mistress, so our eyes look to the LORD our God, till he shows us his mercy. Psalm 123:1-2 (NIV)
Last night was my annual, “Mom gets the house to herself Night”. Once a year, my husband and his friends gather their sons and head to the Monster Trucks. That is my cue to buy a microwave dinner and a book. Because they leave early in the afternoon to line up for the best seats at the stadium and then, go out for breakfast when the show is over, I generally have almost twelve hours of peace and solitude. Despite bad weather, they stayed until the last truck exited the stadium and went to IHOP for the grand finale, all you can eat pancakes, but my time at home did not go as I planned. I spent the rainy day cleaning youngest son’s room. It took a shovel and a rake to clear the floor. Four garbage bags and twenty loads of laundry later, his room looks much better. As a result, my night involved moving piles of clothes and towels to the laundry and folding them. Every time the drier buzzed, I jumped up and started another load. In the middle of it, a friend from church called to plan for an event we are having. While we talked, I made a pot of tea, cleaned off the dining table, started my dinner, folded clothes and swept the floor. By the time the conversation ended, I really didn’t even remember eating. I went to bed about 1:00 with five more loads of laundry left to do and lay there jittery and unable to relax. The wind howled, and the rain beat against the house. I worried about my guys being outside, and I was annoyed that I chose to waste my night alone doing chores. After a long time of tossing and turning, a thought occurred to me. I started that pot of tea while doing several other things. What if I used a regular tea bag instead of a decaffeinated one? I cannot tolerate even the least little bit of caffeine so if I had consumed two glasses of regular tea, I might as well get up and finish the laundry. I went to the kitchen to look in the garbage can and figure out what kind of tea I used. There, to my amazement, I found a stack of carefully addressed and stamped envelopes. Our monthly bills were in the garbage! When I cleaned off the dining table while talking on the phone and doing a myriad of other tasks, I put them in the trash! What if I had not found them? Like last night, so many times, I lose my focus because I am not paying attention to what is important. I let my circumstances dictate what I do and say instead of keeping my eyes on God and waiting on his direction. Thankfully, He led me out of bed and to the kitchen where I found my bills in the trash. He will order all my days if only I let Him.
Most devotionals leave me cold and saying ‘that is such hogwash’. However, I am always immersed in the images that you create with your talented writing and then when I read how this applies to your walk of faith I am always left with a ‘wow’ feeling….a feeling that leaves me feeling not so alone in how I feel. One of the ‘things’ I am focusing on this year is to walk away from ‘shoulds’ during times I have to myself…which is what I did when I went on my recent photo field trips. If I don’t do that I get resentful and angry. As for the bills in the trash….we had some evidence of God’s thumbprints all over the chain reaction of events this weekend also. I love when we “see” Him watching over us 😉