Restless

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. Psalm 62:5-8 (NIV)

I’m considering buying a Kindle. The concept of hauling hundreds of books around in a small handheld device intrigues me. Those sneaky little spies at Amazon know I am interested after pursuing their website and send me tempting little offers to entice me to buy. “Making Room for New Models!” Despite being a bargain hunting girl known to buy something I don’t need just because it is on sale, I hesitate to buy the electronic gadget because I am a book lover at heart. There is just something about holding that text in your hands, carrying it with you, seeing instantly how close you are to the ending and placing a bookmark in the pages when you must set it down. I used to buy hundreds of books, but reaching middle age and recognizing that I need to declutter led me back to the library where I first cultivated my love for books. Oh, how I enjoy walking up and down the rows of shelves, picking something up and knowing I can try it without costing me anything even if I don’t like it. I have read authors I would not normally invest $20 into and found some who I now anticipate their new releases. Often, I take a bag full of books home with me. Sometimes, I read them all and sometimes, I return the lot mostly unread because I just can’t get into the story after all. Rarely, I go to the bookstore anymore, but today, I did in search of a book I heard about on the radio. First, I had to get past the sidewalk sale and racks of books priced less than $2.00. I got an armful, at that price, who can resist? Then, I went in search of St. Augustine’s Confessions. After a funny debate about the pronunciation of his name, the radio DJs discussed this book, a combination prayer, Biblical commentary and testimony of Augustine’s spiritual journey. One of the DJs stated she didn’t think she could get past Augustine’s archaic language, but agreed to try. In my mind, so did I. A song that they currently play by Audrey Assad called Restless relates to a famous quote from that book, “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.” I can’t help but relate my library visits with that quote. Just like the library, so many times in my life, I search for something to ease my restlessness and make me complete. Like picking the wrong book, I often waste my time on things that don’t matter when I need something more substantial to build my life upon. I can read two dollar stories until I am full, but not satisfied. Whether you are a book lover or a movie fanatic, a radio DJ or a historian, a scholar or a jock, we are all searching and restless until we come back to our Creator and find wholeness in our relationship with Him.

Restless

(c) 2009 Audrey Assad/Matt Maher

You dwell in the songs that we are singing
Rising to the heavens
Rising to Your heart, Your heart;
Our praises filling up the spaces
In between our frailty
And everything You are;
You are the keeper of my heart.
And I’m restless, I’m restless till I rest in You, till I rest in You
I am restless; I’m restless till I rest in You, till I rest in You, oh God.
Speak now, for my soul is listening;
Say that You have saved me;
Whisper in the dark, the dark.
I know You’re more than my salvation;
Without You I am hopeless;
Tell me who You are;
You are the keeper of my heart
You are the keeper of my heart.
Still my heart; hold me close; let me hear a still small voice.
Let it grow; let it rise into a shout, into a cry.