Disarray

For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” Romans 8:15 (NIV)

Husband is very unhappy when things are out of place. So am I. When I get upset or frustrated, my first response is to clean. When things are neat and tidy, I feel better even when cleanliness has nothing to do with the original problem. Husband likes to be able to have space around him free of clutter and piles of stuff. That is why he dislikes the festivities of Christmas. He can’t stand all the decorations. So, imagine putting those types of aversions into the situation we currently have at home. Since the water leak detection people came on Wednesday, all the living room furniture is pushed into one corner and the kitchen counters are now lining the living room walls. All the pots and pans are stacked on top of them. The stove is in the middle of the kitchen and the dining table piled with papers and other items from the kitchen and the closet. The carpet in our bedroom is rolled up; one corner of our bedroom is crammed with baskets of shoes, clothes and stuff from the closet. Dressers are covered with laundry that can’t be put away yet. Every day, the wood floors curl up a little farther. In the midst of it all, there is a hole in our bathroom wall that goes into the kitchen, a hole in the concrete slab where the cabinets are supposed to go, and a thin line of concrete dust on everything in the house. My e-mail was hacked and I cracked the display screen on my laptop. Our life is a huge mess. Of course, the uncertainty of how much the insurance company will pay for the repairs since the adjuster still hasn’t been out. Because of it, we have been frustrated and taking it out on each other. Sniping, arguing, sarcastic remarks and lots of tears. Even some banging of pots and pans as they are moved from one place to another in an effort to restore order. Things reached a head yesterday with me crying so hard I couldn’t say anything except, “We have no money to pay for this.” This morning, cooler heads prevailed and we finally figured out that the real problem is that both of us are trying to make plans, trying to bring order into the chaos and we cannot because we don’t have all the information that we need to make informed decisions yet. We don’t know how much the repairs will cost, we don’t know how much money we have to work with and we don’t even really know how much work needs to be done. And so, we agreed to quit taking it out on each other and wait patiently until we can make a plan based on facts and not fears. Because we have not been given a spirit of fear, but of hope and power. At least until the next time, husband wants to sit down and realizes the couch if piled with dishes.