Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:19-21 (NIV)
Saturday, I leave for Guatemala. The time since my last trip has flown by. Here I am again, packing and organizing supplies. I bought $60 worth of diapers and another $60 worth of chocolate today. The workers love American chocolate; theirs is bitter tasting. I’ve been trying to coupon so got the chocolate on sale, buy two get one free with a ten dollar off coupon. The diapers were on sale, with an additional $3.00 off coupon and a free box of wipes. I also have been collecting shoes for all the workers and bought my last four pairs today on sale 50% off. Sometimes, I have trouble justifying all the blessings we have when they have so little. I struggle with feeling guilty. My creatively decorated t-shirts come to mind. In my week home sick, I took my four Orphans Heart t-shirts and jazzed them up. (Sandcastle Momma, you just cut a straight line from the neck as low as you want the v to be, then, fold back the material inside to create the V. You can hand stitch it down or I used buttons to decorate and fasten the material by hand sewing them along the V) I now have two shirts covered in colorful buttons, one tie dyed and one shortened and embellished with ribbons. I was quite proud of them until I started wondering what the workers will think of these perfectly good shirts that I cut up and wasted buttons, dye and ribbon on. What other things might they have done with those materials? Are buttons and ribbons more precious to them than to me who lives in a country where you can run to the store for diapers, chocolate and shoes anytime you want? Will they find me wasteful instead of creative? It is humbling to think about. I try not to let myself get too guilty though. God has blessed me and in turn, I have the obligation to bless others. But, that doesn’t mean I have to wear sackcloth and live in poverty either. What I do need to do is figure out a way not to get sucked into the “me want” mentality. I think I am doing pretty good and then, get taken aback at what’s in my shopping cart with my name on it. It is a balancing act. What keeps me balanced is getting back to my babies and a fresh reminder of what is important. Billy is still there and forumating more and more words every day. I can’t wait to see him. Or all my little chicks. Or Nanny Christy for whom I have a lovely pair of apple green (her favorite color) sneakers in a size 4. The women have such tiny feet. It took a while to find enough small sizes. I’ve got 100 pounds of supplies and 22 pounds of personal items packed. I think that’s just the right ratio. The question is, will I be able to carry it all?