Hard to believe that it is Haiku Monday again, and I have not posted all week. The season, the wedding and prepping for a return to Guatemala next spring are all to blame. The theme this week is “Pretend” and in light of those impediments to blogging, here are my week’s entries:
At two, I knew he
Just truth. Forty-two percent
Dying of hunger.
One of my earliest memories is of the Christmas when I was twenty one months old. I know the date because it was the last Christmas before my world was turned upside down by the arrival of my little sister nine days before my second birthday. My grandparents were visiting, and my grandmother had me all hyped up about Santa. She told me that because there was no snow for his sleigh, Santa would come in a helicopter. Then, she said, “Can you hear it? I hear Santa’s helicopter!” We dashed outside and scanned the sky, but there was no helicopter. I was so disappointed and even more let down when we came back inside to find that all my presents had magically appeared under the Christmas tree while we were gone. I was so angry that my grandmother tricked me and I missed seeing Santa Claus. Then, I figured out that there was no Santa Claus at all. That discovery put me in a ticklish situation because I had to keep pretending so as not to hurt the grownups feelings or risk not getting any more presents. You would think I would have learned when my own children were born, but I went to great lengths to continue the Santa Claus myth even leaving “footprints” of sand on our carpet from the fireplace to the tree and back again each year. I wonder if my children harbor resentment against me like I did to my grandmother. Was it okay to lie to go along with society’s game to create a false sense of wonder and joy?