But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. James 3:17 (NIV)
Winter in Florida brings its own unique set of problems. Husband and I both work for places that rely heavily on tourism so when the snowbirds arrive, we are extra busy. We have to work evenings and weekend special events in the winter that are not required in the summer when our town is quieter and less busy. Although I try hard to only be gone from home one night per week, last week, I was only home one night. Husband goes in early and stays late. The stress of the extra hours, changes in routine to accommodate exercise and other New Year’s resolutions fill my days. I am ready for summer and vacation time. But, the cold weather keeps coming, the streets get more and more crowded and the wait at the grocery store longer and longer. I blame that stress for the conversation that recently happened at our dinner table.
Husband staring at the chicken pot pie on his plate: “Leftovers? You know I hate peas.”
Me: “I know, but 99% of the time when I make chicken pot pie, I leave out the peas. But, I like peas so this time, I left them in.”
Husband: Sighs. “I hate peas.” He gets up and goes to the pantry and comes back to the table with a package of crackers. “I guess I will have crackers for dinner.”
Oldest son: “When I was little, you made me eat peas. You never let me have crackers for dinner.”
Me: “Give me the &*%^$ plate. I will pick out the &*%$# peas.” I proceed to remove all the peas from husband’s chicken pot pie. “Just once, just once, I would like to have peas in my chicken pot pie without listening to you complain.”
Husband: “You can have peas in your chicken pot pie any time you want. Just let me know and I will go somewhere else for dinner.”
Me: Shoving the now pea free chicken pot pie at husband. “Here. Eat your ^%$#& chicken pot pie.”
Husband: “When I die, you can feed your second husband chicken pot pie with peas.”
Me: “When you die, I am never marrying again. I am getting a swimming pool. And six dogs and three horses.”
Husband: “You will need a man to take care of all that.”
Me: “Shut up and eat your pot pie.”
Husband: “I hate leftovers.”
Me: “Well, what do you want for dinner tomorrow night?”
Oldest son: “How about chicken and yellow rice with peas?”
A few days later, we (well, at least I) can laugh about the pea incident, but it did make me think about how I let stress affect my outlook and attitude. Everyday, I can chose between grumpy and curt or kind and loving. It is my choice to be a peacemaker or a grudge keeper. It takes two to tango. Even if I am in the right, I can chose to set aside that right for the good of the relationship so that peace reigns in our household and at the dinner table. Last night, we had meatloaf. With green beans.
I had to laugh because that dinner convo sounded really familiar. I agree that God wants us to be peacekeepers but there are times when I wish that responsibility fell on others as well. It seems like I – and only I – set the mood at my house which can be a heavy weight some times.