The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it. 1 Thessalonians 5:24 (NIV)
We define ourselves in many ways. Since a little girl, I have been loud, bossy and a leader. I was the one organizing class projects, leading volunteer teams, and taking charge of events. I was also told I was smart and pushed myself to do well in school and in my work. Over time, I have been the class mom, the soccer mom, the wife, the historian, the gardener, the horsewoman, the artist and the writer. And lately, I have been defined by my passion for the Malnutrition Center in Guatemala. I never dreamed when I went scared and shaking on that first trip three years ago, that I would be returning two to three trips a year. My life has been changed as I save money for trips, sponsor a child, collect supplies and tell everyone I can about my boy, Bili, and the other children and workers at the Center. Each trip, I worked myself as hard as possible taking advantage of every moment to serve and help. Even though the last two trips I have gotten sick, I still come back determined to do everything I can. Seeing the children and the nannies each time makes it all worthwhile. Not only do I feel like I am following God’s Will and direction for me, but I am blessed as well. But, I have been wondering if that definition no longer would suit me. Today, as I swept the floor in the Squirrels’ room, I realized that I have been allowing something else to define me. I have alluded to health issues here in previous posts. In December, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. The neurological disturbances that I experienced most of last year were finally defined. And with that diagnosis came a new definition of me. A woman with M.S. A woman whose balance is getting wonky. Who is now very careful on stairs. Who is afraid to walk in dark places. Who has to give herself a shot every day that is painful and sore for almost a week afterward. And whose new medication makes her feel worn out, limp and exhausted. I have been allowing MS and the medication to set my expectations for life. To talk me into thinking that I could no longer do mission trips because I am too sick and too tired. Or too afraid to take the risks that might make the disease progress beyond what it has already done. It is true that I am being more careful this trip. I am eating differently, resting more and not feeling like I have to be in control or take charge of everything. I am taking some vitamins and being careful not to be exposed to excessive amounts of germs. But, today, I realized that does not mean I cannot do more mission trips. If God calls me to go, I will continue to keep going. I am not going to let MS define me. I’ll allow God to do that.
I seem to know a few people with MS that have a wide range. One is in a wheel chair. One is an avid cacher, hiker and just got married a year and a half ago. I don't know if your abilities have to do with when you are diagnosed or how active you are, but from what I've seen, an MS diagnosis is not as limiting as you might think. God blessed you with your gifts and I'm pretty sure he will continue to bless you with the ability to use them.