I Have This Hope

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.  2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Did you do experiments as a kid where you put alka seltzer and water in a film canister attached to a homemade rocket?  They don’t make film canisters anymore so I am showing my age, but it was always so thrilling to stand back and wait for the chemical reaction that shot those rockets into the air.  None of us ever thought about what alka seltzer might be doing to stomachs, I guess.    The built up pressure has to go somewhere.   Better a rocket into the air than the rumbling in a tummy.  I digress.  I have been thinking of those rockets in the last few days as the pressure in our home builds.  A family member in the hospital.  A long time friend who had surgery but no one to take care of him at home when he was released.  Unexplained conflict within our dog pack.  Exams and papers for those of us in school.  Self imposed editing deadlines.  The regular work and chore schedule.  And the final drop of water on the alka selzer, termite tenting of our house.  About five years ago, we had our house treated for termites.  At that time, we could not find anyone who wanted to put a tent over our two story, high pitched roof so we opted to have the interior sprayed.  It meant we had to pull up carpets, empty the attics and move furniture around, but we made lemonade out of lemons and redecorated our second floor.  The termites liked what they saw and came marching back in again.  They have been munching on our new kitchen cabinets, the results of another lemonade project when a water leak forced our insurance company to give our kitchen a makeover.   When we scheduled the tenting, we had no idea all this other stuff would be happening. We have to remove any food not in a sealed container like a can, anything that goes in our mouths including toothpaste and medicine and pack up our clothes to be prepared for a three day ban on entering our house.  Any plants within a foot of the house have to be moved as well.   While we have it luckier than most and can spend our banishment in our travel trailer, the whole process has been difficult.  I’ve felt the stress build up in my gut like the alka seltzer in the film canister and sometimes, catch myself holding my breath.  I feel like the gas that will remove any oxygen from our home has invaded my lungs.  I want to lie down and have a good cry, but I put one diseased knee in front of the other and soldier on.  What keeps me going?  Past the hospital visits, the boxing up of belongings, the destruction of my flower beds, the interruption of dog fights?  I heard this song on the radio that explains it better than I.  Hope keeps me breathing and standing upright.  Hope that this is temporary and something better awaits.     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBg9jHQtE44

“I Have This Hope” by Tenth Avenue North

As I walk this great unknown
Questions come and questions go
Was there purpose for the pain?
Did I cry these tears in vain?

I don’t want to live in fear
I want to trust that You are near
Trust Your grace can be seen
In both triumph and tragedy

I have this hope
In the depth of my soul
In the flood or the fire
You’re with me and You won’t let go

But sometimes my faith feels thin
Like the night will never end
Will You catch every tear
Or will You just leave me here?

But I have this hope
In the depth of my soul
In the flood or the fire
You’re with me and You won’t let go
[x2]

So, whatever happens I will not be afraid
Cause You are closer than this breath that I take
You calm the storm when I hear You call my name
I still believe that one day I’ll see Your face

And I have this hope
In the depth of my soul
In the flood or the fire
You’re with me
I have this hope
In the depth of my soul
In the flood or the fire
You’re with me and You won’t let go

In the flood or the fire
You’re with me and You won’t let go
[x2]