January 2, 2021. (Why do I hear William Shatner’s voice when I write that date?) Two months ago, today, we arrived home after seven months and three days on the road. I ended the vacation of my dreams and officially entered retirement (I keep referring to it as graduation for some odd reason). In those two months, I have learned a lot about myself and my husband who you would think I had nothing new to learn about after knowing him almost my whole life. What I have I learned? I’m a list maker so here’s a list.
- My natural state is inertia. Unless I have a to do list, a deadline, or a crisis, I am content to sit in a chair with my eyes closed dreaming of things I could be doing. So, sometimes, I invent a reason to get up now and do something. Dreaming of a garden? Then, it must be completed by Thanksgiving. Dreaming of a quilted table runner? Invite friends to dinner, and I sew like a mad woman.
- I am made for a schedule. If left to my own devices, I will sleep until Noon, wear my pajamas all day and not start supper until 8:00 PM. I always suspected I was a night owl, but workdays and the need for sleep prevented that type of schedule. I miss a lot by sleeping the day away. And Glen is a rooster ready to start a project by 7 so sleeping late, I miss time with him as well.
- I have ADD when it comes to housework. I wander around (in my pajamas) and start emptying the dishwasher. One second later, I become distracted by the dog hair under the fridge. I go to the bedroom to make the bed and emerge two hours later with a clean closet. Or I don’t do anything at all and sit on the couch reading all day and at 9 at night look up to find a disaster area.
- I have a lot more ideas than money. I live on a fixed income now. One that is half what I made when I was working. But I keep spending like I still have a paycheck coming in.
- I miss working in an office. In an office, away from the dogs and the house and a husband, I was more efficient. I got things done. I was the woman who people came to for solving problems. Now, I can’t even remember what day it is. And don’t even talk about how many bills have been paid late because I forget about them.
- I am content with my own company. I forget I have friends. I sleep late, don’t get dressed, post on social media and repeat my days with no routine. Then, someone calls and invites me to lunch or suggests a class. The lazy side of me says no, but the polite side says yes. End result: I have a great time, remember why friends are important and think, “Why don’t I do this more often?”
- It is easy to slip into a mentality that life is all play. I’ve done my time. I am no longer in a position of influence. I can’t have an impact on my community. While we were away, I felt guilty for not being home to participate in the discussions and training to help our community be more inclusive. I saw what other communities were doing and had ideas about how to do something similar to impact my hometown. But now that I am back, the inertia is hard to combat.
I think these tendencies are why I miss being on the road. Despite the wanderlust image, being on the road requires a schedule and routine. If its Monday, we must be at the Grand Canyon, right?!
So, what am I doing in this New Year to try and overcome my current situation?
I am trying to retrain my body into going to bed by 10 and getting up by 9. (Or 9:45).
I try to at least be dressed in something besides pajamas by Noon.
I am trying to use up what I have (which is a significant amount of fabric, a Kindle full of unread books and more clothes than someone who wears pajamas all day needs).
I am setting aside certain days each week to do the things I love (and the things I don’t) while leaving room for flexibility.
I am making it a priority to call friends just to say hello, to socialize more, invite people over (with social distancing in mind),
Finally, I refuse to let myself think I have no value. I said as I neared retirement, I wanted to be a bridge builder. There are so many opportunities for me to use the talents I’ve been given and honed my whole life. Now, that I am free of the restraints of employment, I can use them in new ways. I’ve said yes to some requests for help considering where I can be most effective and with the goal of building bridges. But, in order to do them, I need to get out of bed and dressed! Well, I can do some things remotely in my pajamas! As long as it is not afternoon.
Happy New Year! What new ways of living and thinking does 2021 hold for you?
Your list sounds just like me. Except that I love working at home – office is not necessary except for socialization to me. I’ve been working at home since March and while my days are a little unorthodox, I get my hours in and my work done. If the weather is nice, I get up early and work, then take a 2-4 hour break in the middle to go play in my garden, walk the dog or visit my parents. Then I come back to my desk and finish my day. I don’t miss the commute or wearing “real” clothes. Honestly, the only thing I really miss is the people. I really like the ones I work with.
I do miss church. Church is my reset button for the week, where I go to leave all my problems or find solutions from deep inside. I don’t know when church is going to re-open. Much of our congregation is elderly and almost all (including me) have health conditions that make it dangerous. They don’t understand why, but our priest is a former ER doctor and is patient about explaining it to them. When he first started, we lost 7 people in the first two months. He doesn’t want a repeat of that due to COVID.
I have my own list of things I want to improve in 2021. Getting more sleep is at the top of my list. I have to go to bed earlier because my animals get me up between 5:30 and 6am. So sleep on the front end is really the only way to do that. Happy new year, Cathy!