Sleep Deprived

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken. Psalm 62:5-6 (NIV)

When I am exhausted, I get emotional. After working on the auction for days and being at church for twelve hours on Saturday, I came home keyed up and wound tight. The cause was either the three desserts I ate while fielding a myriad of questions or that annoying habit I have of replaying every conversation and decision over in my mind. I tossed and turned all night which was really bad because we had to get up very early to go to a triathlon with youngest son. The night before we tried to convince him to drive my truck so he could transport his bike with him to the race, but he didn’t want to drive my gas guzzler. But, my mind was numb from auction business, so when husband and son decided that he would leave at 6 and we would leave at 6:30 to bring the bike, I smiled and nodded and left it up to them. It would have been fine if I could have gotten to sleep earlier than 3:30 but by the time husband roused me, it was almost 7:00, forty minutes before the race was to begin. All the way there, I cried and wrung my hands because I am such a poor mother that I would not get out of bed when called. Now my son could not race because I had his bike, and I was not going to get there on time. Husband actually told me how silly I was, at great risk I might add, considering my emotional state. Then, when youngest called to say he could not register because he didn’t have any money and needed an additional ten dollars for a one day membership in the triathlon association, I was convinced that I was the worst mother on the planet because I did know and forgot to tell him when I was so focused on the auction. I saw it when I paid the whopping $75.00 registration fee on line the week before. So, I cried and wrung my hands some more. We finally got to the race site at 7:25, rushed to pay a compassionate stranger who took his word that his horrible mother was on her way with the cash, got his bike to the staging area and huffed and puffed out to the beach to see him finish the last leg of his two mile swim. He swam two miles, biked thirteen and ran five. He came in third place in his age bracket. Then, he spent the day with friends at the beach, while I went home and took a nap and felt much better when I woke up. Sometimes when things look their bleakest, all we really need is to rest and wait on a clearer head and a little time to pass. The greatest rest comes when we know that God has everything under His control. I just have a hard time remembering it when my brain is foggy with fatigue.

PS The auction raised $12,000. Pretty good for the times we are in. And a lot of cool things happend that I will have to write about some time when I have caught up on my sleep!