Oatmeal for Brains

“Listen to me, O house of Jacob, all you who remain of the house of Israel, you whom I have upheld since you were conceived, and have carried since your birth. Even to your old age and gray hairs I am He, I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you. Remember this, fix it in mind, take it to heart. Remember the former things, those of long ago; I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me.” Isaiah 46:3-4, 8-9 (NIV)

The difference between big picture and little picture people struck me yesterday after a meeting I attended to plan a special event, and it was clear who at the meeting was a big picture person and who was a little picture one. The big picture person had grand ideas for the event. Nationally recognized entertainers and speakers will appear alongside traveling exhibits from prestigious, well known museums. His ideas would certainly be a drawing card to our community. Then, there were the little picture questions. Who will pay for all this? Do we have enough time to plan this event? In the conversation, we seemed to come to a medium sized picture. The big picture person will continue to look for funding, exhibits and people known on a national level while the little picture people will reserve the local museum space and have a back up plan just in case. I can appreciate both sides. Sometimes, I am a big picture person with all the ideas and sometimes, I am the one behind the scenes, organizing and making sure all the details are handled. Lately, however, I have been oatmeal for brains kind of person. I was trying to describe it to my husband last night. Formulating a thought is like digging into the pot of oatmeal for a raisin. I know an idea is there in my mind somewhere, but I can’t see it and when I poke around for it, mush just fills up the empty spaces created by the stirring. I told him how long I sat just trying to remember the three things we had put on the credit card this month. I wanted to pay the bill in advance before we go on vacation and could remember two purchases, but not the third. Then, it floated through my mind and I remembered, but seconds later, it was hidden again. When this slowed thinking first started, I was in my early 40s and had no clue of its cause. I thought I might have a brain tumor and began planning my funeral. Then, after reading a book called, Menopause of the Mind, I faced the truth. I wasn’t going to die soon, but growing old wasn’t going to be easy either. Since I have finished “the change”, I find some of my cognitive functioning to be returning. Or maybe I have learned to compensate. Interestingly, a creative side perhaps once suppressed by child bearing and raising and the monthly ebb and flow of hormones, has emerged in my life. Time and energy to write, create and design are stronger now. While I cannot remember what is on my grocery list, I can make a beautiful glass bowl and see the face of an animal in a wadded up piece of wool! Despite the changes in my brain, one thing is indelibly fixed into my mind: God’s sustenance in the past and the promise of more in the future. He alone is God. I cannot forget.