Off Kilter

Dominion and awe belong to God; He establishes order in the heights of heaven. Job 25:2 (NIV)

Home Improvement brings opportunities for thinking outside the box and doing things uniquely. Putting knickknacks in new places. Hanging artwork on different walls. Moving furniture and resituating rugs. Some things look really nice in their new spots. I love the placement of a large chair in the corner of the room and the way a new lamp highlights the fireplace. Others will take some getting used to. Though it has been three weeks, youngest son still stubs his toe on the repositioned coffee table when he comes down for his midnight snack each night. While it hasn’t caused me physical pain, I am also struggling with the location of our dining table. It is still sits in the dining area underneath a ceiling fan, but I turned it so instead of being square and parallel to the walls, it is rests like a diamond. There is more room for the chairs now that they are not flush against the wall. That may save some nicks and scratches in the new paint. Sometimes, the artist in me looks at it and thinks, “Hey, I like that.” Until, the compulsive orderly character in me wants to rush over and push it neatly back in line. So far, I have resisted partly because I think it does look good that way, but partly just out of a stubbornness not to give in to the ordinary. For so many years, I resisted change. I didn’t want to be different or out of line. My relationship with youngest son suffered from this compulsion. While his older brother was a round peg suited to round holes, youngest son was that youngster designed to be a teacher’s nightmare. “Why do I have to? What for? You can’t make me.” A to Z wasn’t his way. 1, 2, 3 didn’t have to go in that order. He always saw a different method or approach. For someone raised to be perfect, it was hard to have a child who bucked the system. It didn’t matter if the school was private, public or charter. I always felt sick when I saw the phone number on my caller ID. The approach of school in the fall was a time to be dreaded until he himself selected a military school and began to excel. We have an allergist who has been treating our family since before youngest son was born. Through it all, he encouraged us saying wait and see. The boy who wouldn’t fit into a mold would become the one who would do great things. I didn’t know it in the midst of the chaos, but I do now. Youngest son got a job as a firefighter this week. It is just part time, but it is a foot in the door and he can still go to paramedic school. Even when my life was completely a mess, God walked beside us. Now, I sit at the table off kilter and praise Him for the order only He can bring.