The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18 (NIV)
A young friend sent me an e-mail asking what to look for in a man. She’s got her priorities right, been focusing on school and finishing her degrees. She took to heart some advice I gave her several years ago courtesy of Maya Angelou, “A woman’s heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her.” She’s been spending lots of time studying her Bible, praying and being with people who can teach her about God. And low and behold, Maya turns out to have been right. In the process of drawing close to God, her path intersected with a young man on that same journey. I’m so proud of her I could pop and so pleased with God, I can’t stop praising Him for this special answer to prayer in such a perfect way. Now, when she reads this, she will blush and want to raise her hands and say, “No, wait, don’t write like it’s a done deal. After all, we just met and are only friends.” True, but if he’s not the one God has picked out for her, the friendship is a good one and a great way to learn more about what she will want in a husband. And that brings me back to her question. Of course, you have to keep your eyes open for the man that God brings into your life because He knows what is best. But, that won’t be enough for my smart cookie of a friend who will ask again, “But how do you know he’s the one God intends for you?” So, here’s what I think. There’s a certain peace or completeness, a feeling of it being “right” when you are with him. Like a piece of you that was missing has been found. I think a man should be enough like you that you can have fun together and enjoy some of the same things, but different enough to push you to try new things and to think of new ideas. He should also be someone who is strong in areas where you are weak. My husband is thrifty and frugal thinking about the future where I am a spendthrift and often think no farther than the moment. He helps to rein me in financially while I have more patience with people and encourage him to cut others some slack. When I get anxious about the future, his calmness reminds me of what is real and true. In addition to being a man of character and honesty, I think it is also important to see how he treats his friends and family. Especially his mother. Is he loyal, caring, and compassionate? Does he put others first? Is he someone that they know can be counted on to be trusted and do as he says? To keep a confidence? To give wise counsel? Someone they can call in the middle of the night when they need help? And finally, he needs to be someone who can make you laugh, because with all that life will throw at you, you need someone who can make you smile in life’s darkest moments. So, my fellow bloggers. How about offering some advice to my young friend? What should she look for in a man?