Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes. Matthew 6:34 (The Message)
This morning, I took Trucker to the vet for routine shots. Now, that I have a trailer, I don’t have to pay the vet $90 to come to my barn and instead haul Trucker down to hers. Even with gas as high as it is, I still save money. Of course, husband has to go with me because he still does not trust me to pull the trailer. On the way home, I looked at the exam papers and noticed she had written, “possible AV blockage.” I wondered if that was something to be concerned about. We talked about his coat which is unusually nice right now, probably because I have added rice bran oil to his feed. We talked about his tendency to get stressed and colic when his friends go camping. But, she didn’t say anything about a blockage. I alternated between thinking I should call her in a panic and staying calm until I got home to look it up on the computer. Deep breath, don’t stress, I thought. When I got home, I read that “Many horses, especially fit, athletic horses, have an arrhythmia called Second Degree Atrioventricular Block.” The article went on to say that it is no cause for alarm. Good call to stay calm. Husband went off on his motorcycle to have lunch with friends while I ran to the store for a few things. On my way home, I could see in a back cloud and lightning in the distance and wondered if husband needed me to come and get him. A little while later, he flew in the driveway soaking wet. He said that as soon as he came out of the restaurant he knew he needed to get home, but he was too late. While on top of the bridge (the one pictured in this week’s Wordless Wednesday), lightning struck all around him and he could feel the electricity in the handlebars of his bike. Construction drums rolled around in the wind. Even though he could hardly see anything, he managed to avoid those obstacles. He confessed he has never been that scared before while riding. Good that I didn’t know. What good would worrying have done? The storm hit here shortly after he came home dropping his wet clothes by the washer and heading to a warm shower. It is raining so hard right now that a five gallon bucket just filled in less than fifteen minutes. And I can hear water dripping down the chimney and hitting the vent. I can’t imagine what it was like to be riding in that weather. Sometimes, we have fears, real or imagined. Worries that take hold of our heart and threaten to overwhelm us. But, God tells us to give all our cares to Him and to trust that when the time comes He will give us what we need to endure. Hard things will come. But, God is greater than any disease or storm that life can throw at us.
I've been working hard on letting go of worry. It's difficult sometimes, but am making progress. Last week, I found a lump under my arm. I called the doctor, got in to see him and had a mammogram/ultrasound the same day. They had a hard time finding my lump, though when I guided their fingers, they could feel it. But the machinery showed nothing. I was sent home with the words not-to-worry and nothing threatening. Then they called me back the next day and said I needed to come in again. I was a bit frightened at the urgency, but I managed to let go of it and remained calm in my head and my heart. The results of teh second group showed a couple of calcifications – but nothing serious. I am relieved.