We humans keep brainstorming options and plans, but God’s purpose prevails. Proverbs 19:21 (The Message)
Something is happening to my sense of time as I age or maybe it is the medicines I take. I used to be so aware of changing seasons. Angles of light, length of day, fluctuations in air temperature, foliage or even the color of the sky triggered within me an understanding of what time of year it was. I used to be so excited as days got longer and summer approached or alert as Fall arrived, subtle as it may be in Florida. I could tell you the day of the week in an instant. Knew how many hours until the weekend or kept a calendar of appointments in my head. Not just mine, but husband’s and the kids’ as well. We never missed a doctor’s appointment though I rarely wrote things down. I always knew when a month ended and another one began. But, lately, time marches on and I feel sort of in lala land. If I don’t write something down, there is a chance I will miss it. Monthly allergy shots, doctor’s appointments, vet visits, family events and exercise classes crowd the written pages of the calendar. My brain has no room for them. Somehow, when I wasn’t paying attention, summer arrived. I thought it was just Christmas. When did we celebrate Easter? Recent family birthdays or holidays caught me by surprise. And Memorial Day holiday got me all mixed up. All week, I have been one day behind. I keep thinking it is Thursday, when it is Friday already! Not that I am complaining about it being the weekend! It is hard to be the planner that I have always been when my internal time clock is missing. I usually have our summer vacations all planned out to the minute by now, driving husband crazy with my questions and on line reservations. Husband only gets two weeks off a year and the time is already approved but that is only because one is dictated by a family wedding and the other our wedding anniversary. The wedding week is planned, though no reservations have been made yet, but the week of our anniversary is wide open. Though it is going to be a staycation, there are a few activities that I want to schedule as I have heard that they fill up fast. I don’t want the whole week to be spent sitting on the couch while husband works in the garage. Being unstructured is difficult for me, but with my current limbolike state, I am not sure if I should just do as husband urges and be free and easy with the week or sit down with the calendar and fill every minute. Maybe something in between. If there is one thing this year should have taught me, it is not to tie my life up so tight that there is no room for surprises. Maybe that is the advantage of living more in the moment and less in the future. There will always be surprises!