Hands

I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands.  Psalm 63:4

It is hard to type with one hand much less type while holding one hand over my head.  For all the times I cursed autocorrect, I am grateful for it now.  One labored letter at a time, I type this post.  I blame it all on myself. And my choice that is always, ‘‘Go big or go home.”  Some might call it living large.  Taking a class at the paint your own sign store? Get the x-large size.  The one that will require rushing and staying after class to finish.  Making spaghetti sauce? Quadruple it so there is some to freeze for later.  Buying one rosebush for the garden?  Buy a dozen instead.  Need one knee replaced?  Let’s have two done.  That’s me-Mrs. Go Big or Go home.  With the knees fixed and weaned off pain meds, hand pain emerged.  Arthritis in my thumbs and carpel tunnel.  Having just breezed through double knee replacement, I blithely agreed to carpel tunnel surgery on my left hand.  Many friends told me was an easy recovery so as though I was getting a free order of fries with a burger, I also agreed to removal of the arthritic bone in my thumb with the insertion of a tendon in the empty space. Mrs. Go Big or Go Home strikes again.  I made the mistake of comparing two big bones to one tiny one.  After all, knee surgery was only a half hour per knee and a ten-day hospital stay.  This surgery was outpatient! Piece of cake. I did no research, or I would have known that it was a ninety-minute surgery resulting in a cast and a six-month recovery period.  When I woke from surgery and expressed dismay at the cast, I was told the surgery was very “invasive”.  No one told me that! I would never have agreed had I known!  As the kids say, “My bad.”  I should have done the research! So, here I sit, arm immersed in a heavy cast held over my head and writing with one finger.   Thanksgiving looms and Christmas right behind it.  I’ve already taken six weeks off work for my knees, I can’t take six more.  I can’t.  So many things I cannot do with only one hand. Carrying a basket of laundry. Emptying the dishwasher. Reading a book. Riding a bike. Putting on a bra! So much I did not think about. However, I discovered books on audible to occupy my mind.  There are things I can do with one hand, and my family is helping.  Brief shopping trips, once boring, seem luxurious.  In a usually hectic season, I have time to count my blessings.   Posts on the Internet, discovered during belated research, encourage me that this will be worth it.  Mrs. Go Big or Go Home has learned an important lesson, look before you leap.  And the hand raised over my head? There are two ways of looking at it. Pain relief or praise.  Come to think of it, they are connected.